Hungry but won't eat

HA! take that growling tummy! I REFUSE!

so D just asked me if I wanted to go see a movie with him and our friends.... hahaha I was like "no" he's like "why don't you want to see a movie with us?" I was like "do I really need to explain that to you?" I mean I haven't fucked him in like two weeks and I've stopped wearing my wedding ring..... you'd think he'd figure out that I don't want anything to do with him, much less sit through a movie with him.

Giving up on my marriage....

So, I've been really busy at work. I'm trying to go to the gym 5 days/wk for an hour after or before work. I'm stuck at 124/125 lbs and haven't lost in a while, so I need to do some heavy restricting this weekend and for the next two weeks.
My marriage is so totally gone to shit.... I've stopped caring and so has he. Everything about him either pisses me off, disgusts me, or annoys me. The thought of sleeping with him just bothers me.... I'm working on moving out. I want to be able to get some computer certifications in the next six months and get a higher paying job or a raise, enough to support myself.
I'm not going to bring it up to him till I'm ready to 100% leave him and never look back.

Living with him makes me miserable and I just want to move on..... get on with my life.

I use to not want to leave him because I was still in love with him and I couldn't stand the thought of him being with another woman, but now I don't even care. That's how much I've fallen out of love with him. We haven't even reached our three year anniversary..... its a good thing we waited on the kids.

I just want to get trashed and.......

....... forget everything about my life.
So, I'm pretty sure I have appendicitis. I've been having this progressively worse pain in my left abdomen a little above my liver. It's a throbbing pain and it's been getting worse over the last two to three months.... it started about 6 months to a year ago. I don't have health insurance for another 2.5 months so I'm not sure what to do about it.

Yes those are pix of me

I can't stand the way my husband treats me..... all I can think about is leaving him and falling in love with someone else...... I guess that's horrible. But I can't stop thinking about it.

He acts as if I'm not there at all.... I'm not ugly.... not even close... so I don't inderstand :''''(


I've even lost weight... I'm considered "really skinny" and "hot" so why doesn't he think so.....
I'm so broken up about our stupid, meaningless marriage....