So, me goal is to stay under 800 calories till the middle of September and then from 9/18 to 11/7 stay under 600 calories and that last date will be my goal weight of 110lbs.
Today I had:
2 peaches
1 vitamin water zero
1 pure protein breakfast shake
handful of raw almonds
1 snickers ice cream bar
bits boiled chicken breast
Total: 780 calories
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Have not been writing for a while...
Wow, it's been sooooo long. So... I'm still stuck at the same weight. I hope to be to 124 and be able to check off my next goal by the time D gets back from his 2 week trip.
I've been super busy at work, so that's why I have not been writing lately. I haven't been in "Ana" mode but I plan on getting back into the restriction hardcore to get to my goal by Christmas *fingers crossed*
I've been super busy at work, so that's why I have not been writing lately. I haven't been in "Ana" mode but I plan on getting back into the restriction hardcore to get to my goal by Christmas *fingers crossed*
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Hungry but won't eat
HA! take that growling tummy! I REFUSE!
so D just asked me if I wanted to go see a movie with him and our friends.... hahaha I was like "no" he's like "why don't you want to see a movie with us?" I was like "do I really need to explain that to you?" I mean I haven't fucked him in like two weeks and I've stopped wearing my wedding ring..... you'd think he'd figure out that I don't want anything to do with him, much less sit through a movie with him.
so D just asked me if I wanted to go see a movie with him and our friends.... hahaha I was like "no" he's like "why don't you want to see a movie with us?" I was like "do I really need to explain that to you?" I mean I haven't fucked him in like two weeks and I've stopped wearing my wedding ring..... you'd think he'd figure out that I don't want anything to do with him, much less sit through a movie with him.
Giving up on my marriage....
So, I've been really busy at work. I'm trying to go to the gym 5 days/wk for an hour after or before work. I'm stuck at 124/125 lbs and haven't lost in a while, so I need to do some heavy restricting this weekend and for the next two weeks.
My marriage is so totally gone to shit.... I've stopped caring and so has he. Everything about him either pisses me off, disgusts me, or annoys me. The thought of sleeping with him just bothers me.... I'm working on moving out. I want to be able to get some computer certifications in the next six months and get a higher paying job or a raise, enough to support myself.
I'm not going to bring it up to him till I'm ready to 100% leave him and never look back.
Living with him makes me miserable and I just want to move on..... get on with my life.
I use to not want to leave him because I was still in love with him and I couldn't stand the thought of him being with another woman, but now I don't even care. That's how much I've fallen out of love with him. We haven't even reached our three year anniversary..... its a good thing we waited on the kids.
My marriage is so totally gone to shit.... I've stopped caring and so has he. Everything about him either pisses me off, disgusts me, or annoys me. The thought of sleeping with him just bothers me.... I'm working on moving out. I want to be able to get some computer certifications in the next six months and get a higher paying job or a raise, enough to support myself.
I'm not going to bring it up to him till I'm ready to 100% leave him and never look back.
Living with him makes me miserable and I just want to move on..... get on with my life.
I use to not want to leave him because I was still in love with him and I couldn't stand the thought of him being with another woman, but now I don't even care. That's how much I've fallen out of love with him. We haven't even reached our three year anniversary..... its a good thing we waited on the kids.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
I just want to get trashed and.......
....... forget everything about my life.
So, I'm pretty sure I have appendicitis. I've been having this progressively worse pain in my left abdomen a little above my liver. It's a throbbing pain and it's been getting worse over the last two to three months.... it started about 6 months to a year ago. I don't have health insurance for another 2.5 months so I'm not sure what to do about it.
So, I'm pretty sure I have appendicitis. I've been having this progressively worse pain in my left abdomen a little above my liver. It's a throbbing pain and it's been getting worse over the last two to three months.... it started about 6 months to a year ago. I don't have health insurance for another 2.5 months so I'm not sure what to do about it.
Yes those are pix of me
I can't stand the way my husband treats me..... all I can think about is leaving him and falling in love with someone else...... I guess that's horrible. But I can't stop thinking about it.
He acts as if I'm not there at all.... I'm not ugly.... not even close... so I don't inderstand :''''(
I've even lost weight... I'm considered "really skinny" and "hot" so why doesn't he think so.....
I'm so broken up about our stupid, meaningless marriage....
He acts as if I'm not there at all.... I'm not ugly.... not even close... so I don't inderstand :''''(
I've even lost weight... I'm considered "really skinny" and "hot" so why doesn't he think so.....
I'm so broken up about our stupid, meaningless marriage....
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Been so busy...
new job and all.... I've been working 40 hours/wk and then I come home and make dinner and apply for jobs for my hubby who just wants to sit and play wow all day and buy himself fast food and do little things here and there to find jobs... not enough though if you ask me.
I'm way over stressed and have not been eating much or exercising as much as I should.
He told me not to worry about taking care of him and his job situation, so fine I won't. I just don't think it or anything else will get done. Whatever.... I'm sick of caring so much.
We got in a fight today..... its bugging me.... everything is bugging me..... the fact that I'm doing the amount of 3 people's jobs at work and not getting paid enough for it is one of them.
Well on my way to 122lbs, should be there within a week... I guess that's a good thing :)
I'm way over stressed and have not been eating much or exercising as much as I should.
He told me not to worry about taking care of him and his job situation, so fine I won't. I just don't think it or anything else will get done. Whatever.... I'm sick of caring so much.
We got in a fight today..... its bugging me.... everything is bugging me..... the fact that I'm doing the amount of 3 people's jobs at work and not getting paid enough for it is one of them.
Well on my way to 122lbs, should be there within a week... I guess that's a good thing :)
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